Rejection is one of the worst things out there. It’s played a part in diminishing confidence in even the strongest, most independent women. It doesn’t matter if it’s rejection in love or in business, it all feels brutal.

Rejection leaves us questioning our abilities, our self-worth, and sometimes our entire course in life. And I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s time for a dose of hard truth, a little tough love if you will. You’ll never be able to fully eliminate rejection from your life. Any situation that has potential for rejection typically involves another person. Maybe a lover or maybe a boss. Maybe your business loan lender, or maybe new acquaintances. And since we can’t control actions of others, we can never fully prevent rejection.

Now, if we’ve all been through it SO many times and if it isn’t avoidable, then why is it that it never gets easier?

Well, my friend, it’s probably because you haven’t learned THIS rejection hack.

It all starts with your sense of self. A strong sense of self acts as a shield to anything that threatens your confidence… like getting passed up for a promotion or being broken up with.

Here are four practical ways to build an unshakeable sense of self that is resilient to rejection.

  1. Don’t play the victim.

Having a pity party won’t change your situation and it can actually put you in a very destructive frame of mind where you start seeking reassurance from negative people or situations.

  1. Look at the good and the bad.

When bad things happen, we have a habit of looking at things through a warped perspective. “But that was my dream job, I’ll never find anything else like it.” Actually, you probably can. And no situation is the perfect situation. Try thinking about the things that weren’t ideal like, “They weren’t very flexible with their schedule. I can find something more flexible.”

  1. Be kind to yourself.

Don’t pick yourself apart and talk down on yourself. You’ll never be everyone’s cup of tea so to speak, but what matters is that you’re trying you’re best and you’re willing to learn from the lesson.

  1. Reassess

You hit an obstacle, so what’s next? When it comes to your ultimate goal and achieving that goal, what are the next steps you need to take to readjust and get back on track? Refocus yourself and get to work!

As you apply these four steps to dealing with rejection, I hope that you can recognize that just because someone can’t see how incredible you are, you are still INCREDIBLE. Don’t let rejection convince you otherwise!

Stay focused,

Agata Galuszka
Life and Success Coach & Founder of Ultimate Confidence Ltd

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